yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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