Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
