Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You're like the curious george of whores
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize