Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
