38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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