finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
