i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
