I want to walk on stilts...naked
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ttyl tear gas
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
