Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
