this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
