it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize