I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
