Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You're earring is so big in my mouth
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
