Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
