ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
