I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
