Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
