Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
