No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
