I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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