Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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