i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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