The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
