The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
