covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize