I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
