Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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