We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
