Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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