scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
