I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
