My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize