You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
