I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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