did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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