it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
