I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
