Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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