How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
