you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
