so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize