the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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