I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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