That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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