i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
