i need an iv and a liver transplant
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
