Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize