The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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