I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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