When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
