All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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