check it out our google latitudes are spooning
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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