she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
