i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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