i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think my moral compass just broke
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
