Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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