Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
