Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And then my night got REAL pukey
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize