hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
