U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
