Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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