By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
