i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
