we have pet lesbian snakes
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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