i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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