Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
