When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
