Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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