I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
