if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
