Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
whose parrot is this?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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