Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
