I hope mine doesn't look like that
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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