I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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