Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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