we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
