4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
