Soap is not a condiment
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Someone came in the potted fern
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize