I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
