He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
