Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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