You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Randomize
