Having a random hookup so left but love u
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
