Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
high people should be assigned attendants
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
