If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
