Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize