The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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