Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize